Two Sides To Idolatry “People Pleaser”

THE TWO SIDES OF IDOLATRY

I am back to talk about  Idolatry,  as it relates to pride, which is at the heart of being a people pleaser and is an insidious thing.  Like a cataract that slowly covers the eye of its victims, pride keeps us from seeing our sins, thus preventing us from properly dealing with them.  I want to make it clear that I am focusing on women in this article, but men suffer from this as well.  So before I go on, I must tell you that as a counselor I have struggled to accommodate my counselees, rather than confront (Albeit gently) them.  I have been careful to understand why I have done that from time to time so that I can truthfully address my problem.  In my search for the truth as it concerns my inner struggles, I have been able to identify where I have personally struggled with idolatry.

 So today I come not just as a counselor professionally helping you to find your struggles with it, but I can passionately talk about it, as it has been a place I have been.  As you looked at the article last week, how did you answer the questions I gave you?  Be honest!  Maybe some of you didn’t fair so well and maybe some of you did better than you thought you would. Because the problem is rooted in pride, and pride is endemic to every human heart, each of us will, in varying degrees, struggle with the temptation to be a people –pleasers.  So don’t be discouraged with how you came out of the questions, and don’t be proud of yourself if you answered the questions well.  The real test of your answers will come as we take a closer look at characteristics of a people-pleaser.

I would like to make an important point about idolatry before we go further in this discussion.  There are always two sides to a coin, so there are usually two sides to idolatry.  The first side involves neglecting God.  The other side involves replacing Him with a cheap substitute.  The “tails” side says, “Inordinate Fear of Losing Something” People who love money fear losing their wealth.  Those who love to be in control fear being unable to control the circumstances and people that surround them.  The person who loves pleasure is often afraid of missing out on opportunities to gratify his fleshly desires. As with any other form of idolatry, the sin of people –pleasing also has two sides.  For the people-pleaser, love of man’s approval are accompanied by the flip side of the coin: fear of losing someone’s approval (or respect, or favorable opinion), or fear of being rejected, or sometimes even fear of conflict.  Keep this in mind as you evaluate your own struggle with people-pleasing.

Desire for Approval 

Fear of Rejection

Take some time to meditate on the two sides of Idolatry.  I want to take you slowly through this so that you can understand the extent of sin in your life, that these truths will be convicting to you.   You see most of us would never change the things in our lives that are out of sync with God’s Word apart from being convicted of our sin.  Of course conviction is a small part of change.  Indeed all Scripture  is useful for doctrine, for conviction, for correction, and for discipline training in righteousness ( 2 Timothy 3:16).

It may seem like I am not being sympathetic to you, by using such a rather severe approach to urge you to change, but it is actually a very loving approach.  The truth is what we will be discussing in this series is not a sickness (or a psychological disorder) for which there is no cure; it is not a genetic predisposition that you as a Christian will be forced to live with for the rest of your life.  It is simply a sin! And Jesus Christ came to do away with our sin.  That is where the gospel comes in.   To help you see your problem as a sin is one of the most hopeful things I can do for you because there is a powerful cure for this type of problem – the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We will discuss next time how to diagnose the spiritual disorder of people-pleasing.

Remember:   For Christ died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death  in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit…..(I Peter 3:18)

Cynthia Davis/Co. Founder