Sunday, June 10, 2012

Being Real About Our Pain


http://www.justbetweenus.org/uploads/walking-wounded.jpgHave you ever had those times that you are feeling the your worst, emotionally and sometimes physically, and when asked by someone “How are You”, you answer ” I am fine”, knowing all the time you are hurting and need to talk to someone about it.   I sure have, more than I care to count. And, at that time you feel you are the only one feeling this way, so you“fake it to make”, you put on your best smile, and think  after all, no one wants to hear about your problems, right?   And so, the cycle begins… Here’s something I want you to remember the next time this happens to you.  A counselor once told me that “I’m F.I.N.E.” really means “I’m Feeling Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotionally unstable.” Now – how are you, really?   We are doing ourselves and each other a great disservice when we only look at the surface.  In today’s hustle and bustle, no one seems to have time (or wants to take the time) to look past this facade.  Instead, we accept each other’s “I’m fine” at face value, when really there are hundreds and thousands of “walking wounded” among us – women (and men) who are struggling in our midst, but too afraid to say anything or ask for help, most are too afraid of being judged.  Consequently, we talk about things like where did you get that purse, where do you work, a new haircut, our kids whatever the case may be – but it rarely goes deeper to the relationship-building, soul-searching, or God-pleasing issues that our lives are really made of. Perhaps we don’t want to ask, because we’re afraid that someone might ask us.  We don’t want to face our “junk” either, unless we can hide it in the privacy of our own homes with the door locked and the curtains drawn.  We don’t want people to see our imperfections, our sins, our struggles, and our pain.  
Why is that? Simple.  It’s our PRIDE.   I have times when I am the worst when it comes to letting pride get in the way – God’s way! Does this sound familiar?  “I don’t want to let people get too close because I don’t want to get hurt again.  I don’t want people to see my pain.  I don’t want to ask, because… I’M FINE!”    Today I ask for God’s forgiveness and your forgiveness, for not letting people see beyond the surface where the real me resides, for not letting anyone see the dark places I’ve been so they’ll see how far God has brought me, for not letting people see my brokenness so they can see the power of God’s healing.  It is truly a blessing when someone shares an intimate story about herself in such an open and honest way, making herself vulnerable to others simply for the sake of sharing so that others might see the glory of God and His gift of grace.  We don’t share that gift with people often enough. Even though we know Jesus died for our sins and we have been forgiven, we are unable to realize the fullness of His forgiveness.  
As a result, We become one of the “walking wounded” that everyone thought was “fine.”  Oh, what masks we wear and how well we wear them! God wants us to ask.  This is such a humbling experience for us – asking others for help.  God is waiting to bless us as he provides an outlet as well as healing, a place to share with “like-minded” women who have shared a similar experience.  While our backgrounds and situations are varied, we have a bond that has not been tapped into.  We  are able to laughed together and cry together and, more importantly, we can share our lives together. You and I are leaders, mothers, daughters, sisters, or friends in the Body of Christ, and among us every day are the “walking wounded.”  Perhaps you’re even one of them, possibly by no fault of your own.  If you’re not, you likely know someone who is.  If one out of three women who have personally experienced/struggling with issues like death, divorce, addictions, or abuse…just to name a few! We all need to break the vicious cycle, to never say “I’m fine” again, and to never accept someone else’s “I’m fine.”  Together, let’s vow to look deeper and truly see the person we’re talking to, the real person, the one who might be struggling – whatever that struggle may be – and let us minister to each other as God has called us to do.  Sometimes we need a reminder that we are so much more than our handbags, our jobs, or even our kids.  We are created in the image of Christ and He wants to use us for His glory.  The Lord wants us to share our lives and our testimonies so others can see His glory.  
What is your story?  Have you surrendered everything to Him to use or are you still holding out saying, “You can use everything else, but not this”,  Our gracious God never ceases to amaze me with what He can do and I am humbled that He wants to use me at all. Be a vessel.  Be one that God can use – to help someone who may feel surrounded by darkness, to show compassion and not condemnation, to comfort and to show the love and mercy of Jesus Christ.  It was no accident that God made women to be compassionate and nurturing creatures.  He knew all along how He would use us – as vessels for His work.  Arise and go!  Shine His light in the darkness so the “walking wounded” can see.  You won’t regret it!  You really will not believe how God will bless you through your issues as well.  It has never failed that every time I decide to minister despite what I am going through and when I decide to tell my story, God blesses me in such a way that I no longer feel depressed and alone, and through me sharing my story, he allows it to bless the hearers and in turn we all walk away better. It is my prayer that we as women stop “faking it to make it” and trust God and obey his call for our lives so that we can bless others as he instructs.(Matthew 5:16)
To God be the Glory!!
Cynthia Davis/ Life Change Ministries
 

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