Featured Blog For The Week: Teri Porta

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Terro Porta

Thank you for stopping by Supporting Godly Women. My name is Terri Porta, as the writer of most of the content here. I am a blessed wife, a mother, a business owner, Bible student, a budding writer, and an award winning public speaker. I have taught and been taught, the accuracy of God’s word for 15-years, and am a born-again Christian. Older posts have varied themes. You have your choice of dishes from the meaty to the sugar-coated fun. Catch up with the devotion of a verse a day, except Sundays, out of Ephesians. If you have any questions about what you read or see here contact me.
You are the reason for this blog!

Every human has stitched into their DNA a hunger to know the Truth. There is a hole in the heart that only God can fill with accurate, rightly-divided Word.

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to show thyself approved unto God a workman that needeth not to be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth.

What happens when you study the word? Like anything else you learn, and the joy of that learning brings understanding. Understanding helps you fly free of the shackeled tyranny of doubt, worry and fear. You yearn to know what God thinks of you, how he operates, and if he really is there for you. How do we see him? How do we spot him working in our life?

There is a switch in the person who has faith. They trust what is unseen. 2 Corinthians 5:7; For we walk by faith not by sight.

http://supportinggodlywomen.files.wordpress.com

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Diagnosing the spiritual disorder of People Pleasers

 

His speech is designed to entice and flatter others into thinking well of him

 

The speech of the people pleaser betrays him.  He may or may not do it consciouly, but his words are designed  to cover his flaws and foibles and to cajole others into seeing him in the best possible light.  He is motivated by fear  rather than by love.  The Bible makes very clear connection between flattering and people pleasing.

but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition.  For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit ; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.  For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed- God is witness, nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority. (I Thes. 2:2-5)

A person  who knows he is faithful and has therefore been approved by God can speak freely and boldly to others.  He does not use flattering speech because he really doesn’t care much about pleasing man.  it is the person who seeks to please man who doesn’t care much about pleasing God and so resorts to flattery.   The people pleaser is a hypocrite  who, for fear of being found out or for the purpose of making others think better  of him than he  really is, disguise himself.

The makeup he uses to camouflage his true appearance consist largely of communication.  Here are some characteristics of the communication style of an approval addict.

The people pleaser….

• Rarely confronts sin the life of another believer.
• Rarely challenges or even questions the opinions of others.
• Prematurely terminates conflicts (usually by yielding, withdrawing, or changing the subject).
• Rarely reveals to others the truth about who he really is inside (  specially his struggles with sin).
• Steers conversation away from those topics that might cause others to realize what he is really like inside.
• Shades the truth (lies) in order, “not to offend others”
• Frequently put himself down in the hope that others will disagree with his purposely exaggerated negative  self assessment.
• Finds in it difficult to say “No” to those who make requests  of him, even when he knows that saying “Yes” will not be the best choice.

Follow me next week when I will address how the people pleaser is a “respecter of person”.  I know you are saying : “When will this ever end” , I promise you this will really bless your life to know where this sin is in your life.  We as Christian women/men need to take deeper looks at ourselves and stop dealing with surface of our lives, so that we can get a Godly perspective of the problems that weigh us down.  It is my prayer that each blog will leave you with some truth that will help in your walk with the Lord.

Cynthia Davis/Co. Founder

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Diagnosing The Spiritual Disorder Of “People Pleasers”

Diagnosing the spiritual disorder of People Pleasers

I would like to talk about what an approval addictions looks like.  This spiritual malady can manifest itself in many symptoms.  This list is nowhere near exhaustive, I will attempt to give you just  a few characteristics of the presence of a toxic level of pride in the heart.

1. He fears the displeasure of man more than the displeasure of God.

Fear is a powerful emotion.  It has power for good as well as for evil.  The right kind of fear (the fear of God, such as, or the fear of sin and its consequences) keeps us from danger. The wrong kind of fear leads us into danger.  “The fear of man brings a snare” (Proverbs 29:25).  As you read (John 12:42-43) you find that the rulers did not sin because wanted to enjoy a bit of recognition.  Rather, it was their loving man’s approval and not (or perhaps “more than,” God’s approval.  These rulers feared the wrong things.  They were afraid of being excommunicated from the synagogue, which meant that they stood to lose quite a bit more than a good seat in church. The love a person’s approval is bound to the fear of man’s disapproval.   When a people pleaser interact with others, their thoughts immediately and instinctively run in the direction of selfishness, anxiety, and fear.

• “I’m not prepared to meet this person”.

• “What does he think of me”.
• “ I’ll probably make a fool of myself”.
• “I can’t reveal too much of myself or he will know what I’m really like and reject me”.
• “I can bear the thought of being hurt again”.

A people pleaser is not a peacemaker, but a peace-lover.  A peacemaker is willing to endure the discomfort of a conflict in the hope of bringing about a peaceful resolution.  (Peace is not only the absence of conflict, but is often the result of it).  A peace lover is so afraid of conflict that he will avoid it at almost all costs.  He is so concerned about “keeping the peace” with his fellow-man that he is often willing to give up the peace of God that comes from standing up and suffering for the truth.  He is essentially a coward at heart.

2. He desires the praise of man above the praise of God.

Unless he is backed into a corner with the evidence, the approval junkie might never admit that he loves anything more than the Lord.  “Of course I love God more than anything else”!  Look at all the good things I do for Him! Look at all the time I’ve invested in serving him.  My whole life is built around faith.  Surely I don’t love the approval of man above the approval of God!”  The scribes and Pharisees were clearly people pleasers.  Although they were outwardly religious, they were among the clearest examples of people pleasers in the Bible.  They wanted the approval so much that they spent a great deal of their time and effort doing those things that would bring them glory from men.  (Matt. 23:5-7)  Even though those things were religious in nature (such as prayer, fasting, and giving) they can be done with an hypocritical motive to gain man’s approval.  (Matt. 6:1-5).  The people pleaser is a hypocrite.  His service to man and to God is contaminated by impure desires.  His religion is more external than internal.  His first thought is not “How will God be glorified by what I am doing” but rather “How will people perceive me”.  He is not accustom to thinking this way, but exclusively of himself.  He is concerned about his reputation.  His heart craves being held in high esteem by others ( and to hear their praises).  He values the approval of man rather than the approval of God. (John 12:43)

Next time I will continue to give you some more Characteristics of people pleasers.  Please continue with me as we look at how to diagnose the spiritual disorder of “People Pleasers”.

May God place a conviction on the hearts of sincere Christians who suffer from this sin.

Cynthia Davis/Co. Founder

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